Halloween, how I have grown to loathe you!
As we get older, it becomes less of an opportunity to get candy and be somebody else for a day than an obligation to suffer through bad parties and legions of people dressed as whatever is culturally popular at the moment. (Remember, not long ago, when a legion of Borats choked the streets?)
What happened to, like, ghosts and vampires? Our teenagers have besmirched the legend of Dracula and the entire vampire myth by appearing outdoors in broad daylight. You can't even get a halfhearted "I vant to suck your blood" anymore. The new vampires all have mussed hair and look like they just got out of a Big Head Todd concert after some so-so hash.
But for you women, it can be a minefield. Here's a night, unlike myth-less and commercially invented Valentine's Day (which actually punishes women who are single), that is prime for women, especially single women, to completely own.
First of all, it's wardrobe-based! Women are really the most capable of putting together a really, uh, alluring outfit. I'm not going out on any limbs here. Halloween is a night where every woman can put on the most creative and insane and sexy fashion she wants.
And yet year after year, you ladies dress up like naughty Catholic schoolgirls, naughty nurses, naughty pussycats or naughty whatever-starlet-is-topical. "Oh wow you're a naughty French maid and you've even got the duster going please get that away from my drink I don't know where that's been."
It's time to get creative, people.
Here are 8 costume ideas that will have you looking sexy (without being derivatively "naughtied" out) while saving you the indignity of being one of three Lindsay Lohans with an overly powdered nose at the party. (Leave that poor girl alone already.) Also, dressing up as a witch and calling yourself Christine O'Donnell sounds sort of clever to you now, but I just called it and now it's ruined. So there. And no Lady Gagas. Just no.
Cop
Pros: I know what you're thinking -- this is pretty played out, too. But hear me out. If you really do this right -- and I'm talking about mirrored sunglasses and a shiny badge and dark blue pants with a black belt and holstered baton and black boots -- you will own that party or bar or Tea Party church basement candy-swap/Obama-chop gathering. Female cops can look irrefutably sexy while actually having much of their skin covered up. Clearly there's a power-balance thing at play that still somehow works when it's make-believe, but also it's just that form-fitting cop get-ups are just hot.
Con: If it looks too real there could, and I'm just saying could here, be a higher-percentage chance of something insane happening, like you being called on to disarm a Taser-wielding mugger or mediate a dispute between angry street vendors. Also, impersonating a cop is illegal, so don't go all Method. Beware.
Flight Attendant
Pros: You get to wear a cravat and carry a purse full of mixed nuts and tiny liquor bottles.
Cons: People may ask you to fetch them drinks and loudly harangue you for charging $5 for these crappy earphones. Hey, you just work for American Airlines, you don't price the stupid amenities. GOD.
Cleopatra
Pros: What am I missing here, exactly? She was notoriously intelligent and sexy, she comes with the cool black-eye-shadow-trailing-off-each-eye thing and those gold snake bicep bracelets I seem to recall her wearing during HBO's "Rome" and all those gown-y type clothes. Plus, she is rumored to have committed suicide by cobra.
Cons: People who dress up like Cleopatra but don't even bother to visit her Wikipedia page. She was married to Ptolemy XIII Theos Philopater well before Mark Antony. Come on, get your matrimonial chronology right, Cleopatras!
Thelma & Louise
Pros: It's a two-person ensemble, so you'll have backup all night. You get to wear bandannas. You get to wear boots. You get to grab each other's hands while pretending you're careening into the Grand Canyon and scream over and over during the course of the night.
Cons: You have to wear mom jeans. No, no, there's no debating this. If you're going to be Thelma and Louise, you're going to have access to your bellybutton through your zipper. I don't make up the rules.
Tennis Pro
Pros: Well, this is just a lay-up. You get to wear a skirt and tight shirt and carry a racket and grunt when you exert yourself. You get to wear an armband or headband or both. You get practice your backhand while in line for the bathroom.
Cons: Answer questions of which tennis player you're supposed to be. Like, who knows anything about tennis?
Harvard Law Professor and Bankruptcy Expert Elizabeth Warren
Pros: Stickin' it to Wall Street!
Cons: No one will get this and you'll lose all your friends.
Inmate
Pros: Comfortable one-piece ensemble. You get to carry a shiv, and you can still get a jumpsuit tight enough to show off your curves.
Cons: You're wearing a one-piece jumpsuit. In public.
Bob Dylan
Pros: Hey, if Cate Blanchett can do it in a movie, so can you, right? Right? Look, there's nothing quite as fun as doing a bad Bob Dylan impersonation, plus, he's had a lot of different looks over the years for you to choose from.
Cons: You might end up looking like Gabe Kaplan from "Welcome Back Kotter."
There you have it, folks. Any one of those costumes would be fun, and there are a million more (and better) ideas to get really creative. The idea I was trying to get across is that it's really more about the attitude you bring to the costume, the personality you inhabit, rather then the outfit itself.
And hey, if none of these really do it for you, and you feel like you absolutely have to do the routine slutty-Halloween look, then for the love of God can you at least go as the St. Pauli Girl? There isn't a man on Earth immune to a girl in a miniskirt holding beer steins.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Fashion or Whatever: Halloween is an excuse to dress sexy
Figuring out what to dress up as for Halloween is a conundrum for the slothful and the lazy.
Those two words embody my personality, and anytime I have to lift myself up and use my brain to conjure up a costume around Halloween time, I either reach for a sandwich or drift off into a snooze or a combination of both.
Pretending as if I had money in my bank account, I decided to check out the convenient pre-made costumes that come in plastic bags at the nearby Aahs! Gift Store and the Spirit Halloween Store in Westwood. And as a warning to the two readers of this column out there, the following account of my Halloween excursion will use the word “sexy” ad nauseam.
As I perused the costumes at both stores, I saw every variation of the sexy costume – from the typical, such as the sexy school girl, to the utterly unfathomable, such as the sexy tater tot. There were costumes that no one would ever describe as sexy, such as the murderous Chucky doll, the hirsute Chewbacca from “Star Wars” and a straitjacket. I did not know the asylum could be such a tease. When I saw costumes such as a sexy Elmo and a sexy Nemo of “Finding Nemo,” my mind was simultaneously laughing and crying for the loss of my childhood.
Jack Singh, general manager of Aahs! Gift Store, said that the most popular sexy costumes every year are the gypsy and the sailor and predicted that the sexy “Avatar” costume would be a hit this year. Little did James Cameron know that his blue-skinned characters would open up the gates of a Na’vi sexy Halloween costume market that no one could have predicted.
And I don’t know what took so long, but Victoria’s Secret unveiled a collection of sexy costumes titled “Sexy Little Fantasies,” ranging from the overwrought sexy kitty to the sexy nurse. And with that, I say that the sexy Halloween costume life cycle is complete.
When did the holiday celebrating the wonders of the miniature Snickers bar turn into one where one can wear a sexy Snickers bar costume? I don’t even know, because many of the suggestive costumes I saw were packaged for the tween set, ages 9 and up. I blame Miley Cyrus.
But, realistically speaking, Halloween is the only holiday of the year when it is completely normal to wear as few clothes as possible. As Lindsay Lohan’s character so expertly said in the 2004 film, “Mean Girls,” “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut, and no other girls can say anything about it.”
The wise Lohan has a point. There are few times in the year that the sight of someone dressed as a sexy bumblebee teetering around frat row looking for a lost cell phone in the bushes can be normal. Same goes for a sexy maid frantically looking for her lost feather duster at the apartment parties. Although I’m sure these antics would happen on most Thursday nights.
As for finding a costume, I don’t know what to do in the age of dressing as the sexy yeti.
With my bank account drained from paying for school, I didn’t have $70 to pay for a Lady Gaga costume, which I believe would not fall into the sexy costume genre and more into the inanely dressed pop star costume genre. I guess I’ll be cutting up three holes in my sheets and going as an economically-efficient ghost.
Although I wonder if it would be redundant to dress as a sexy stripper for Halloween.
If you actually like to wear sexy costumes on Halloween, e-mail Jue at tjue@media.ucla.edu.
“Fashion or Whatever” runs every Wednesday.
Those two words embody my personality, and anytime I have to lift myself up and use my brain to conjure up a costume around Halloween time, I either reach for a sandwich or drift off into a snooze or a combination of both.
Pretending as if I had money in my bank account, I decided to check out the convenient pre-made costumes that come in plastic bags at the nearby Aahs! Gift Store and the Spirit Halloween Store in Westwood. And as a warning to the two readers of this column out there, the following account of my Halloween excursion will use the word “sexy” ad nauseam.
As I perused the costumes at both stores, I saw every variation of the sexy costume – from the typical, such as the sexy school girl, to the utterly unfathomable, such as the sexy tater tot. There were costumes that no one would ever describe as sexy, such as the murderous Chucky doll, the hirsute Chewbacca from “Star Wars” and a straitjacket. I did not know the asylum could be such a tease. When I saw costumes such as a sexy Elmo and a sexy Nemo of “Finding Nemo,” my mind was simultaneously laughing and crying for the loss of my childhood.
Jack Singh, general manager of Aahs! Gift Store, said that the most popular sexy costumes every year are the gypsy and the sailor and predicted that the sexy “Avatar” costume would be a hit this year. Little did James Cameron know that his blue-skinned characters would open up the gates of a Na’vi sexy Halloween costume market that no one could have predicted.
And I don’t know what took so long, but Victoria’s Secret unveiled a collection of sexy costumes titled “Sexy Little Fantasies,” ranging from the overwrought sexy kitty to the sexy nurse. And with that, I say that the sexy Halloween costume life cycle is complete.
When did the holiday celebrating the wonders of the miniature Snickers bar turn into one where one can wear a sexy Snickers bar costume? I don’t even know, because many of the suggestive costumes I saw were packaged for the tween set, ages 9 and up. I blame Miley Cyrus.
But, realistically speaking, Halloween is the only holiday of the year when it is completely normal to wear as few clothes as possible. As Lindsay Lohan’s character so expertly said in the 2004 film, “Mean Girls,” “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut, and no other girls can say anything about it.”
The wise Lohan has a point. There are few times in the year that the sight of someone dressed as a sexy bumblebee teetering around frat row looking for a lost cell phone in the bushes can be normal. Same goes for a sexy maid frantically looking for her lost feather duster at the apartment parties. Although I’m sure these antics would happen on most Thursday nights.
As for finding a costume, I don’t know what to do in the age of dressing as the sexy yeti.
With my bank account drained from paying for school, I didn’t have $70 to pay for a Lady Gaga costume, which I believe would not fall into the sexy costume genre and more into the inanely dressed pop star costume genre. I guess I’ll be cutting up three holes in my sheets and going as an economically-efficient ghost.
Although I wonder if it would be redundant to dress as a sexy stripper for Halloween.
If you actually like to wear sexy costumes on Halloween, e-mail Jue at tjue@media.ucla.edu.
“Fashion or Whatever” runs every Wednesday.
Sexy Halloween Costumes All the Rage On College Campuses
Little Ho Peep.
Halloween is not just for children. And this year, for college women it seems, the costumes are getting skimpier, smaller, shorter and tighter.
On the Web are styles to choose from. Sexy White Snow is a skimpy rendition of the classic princess: a royal blue spandex bra-style top accompanied by a yellow micro-mini skirt with red thigh-highs. And Sexy Miss Red is an adult-rated version of Little Miss Riding Hood: a red gingham one-piece lingerie "teddy" with attached garters, a dangerously short petticoat, mini hood and cape.
Rosha Safarmehdi, a junior at Arizona State University, has noticed Halloween outfits making the transition from conservative to skimpy.
“I feel like girls use Halloween as an excuse to dress skimpier or get guys’ attention,” she told ABCNews.com. “I definitely think by dressing more conservative, I would be the odd one out.”
Sam Hauser, 21, a senior at ASU, recently attended a party where she said everyone was dressed provocatively.
“At ASU if you don’t show up [to a party] dressed up kind of scandalous, people wonder why you’re a prude,” said Hauser.
Hauser said students – particularly ones who have recently moved out of their parents’ home -- show up to Halloween parties in sexy attire in order to fit in.
"Everyone is experimenting and figuring out who they are. As much as it is a strange thing to say... you won't fit in and you're not going to make very many friends, and that's what college is all about," said Hauser.
Doug Fielder, owner of Fantasy Costumes in Tempe, located within a mile of ASU, attended this year’s TransWorld costume convention in Chicago, and said many vendors pride themselves on providing sexier costumes.
Fielder's website has an online catalog with costumes categorized by style, with one titled “sexy female costumes.” That’s where you’ll find "sexy nun", "little ho peep" and "sexy Dorothy.”
Fielder acknowledged these costumes aren't for everyone. He said he has customers of all walks of life and even though these highly suggestive costumes are unfortunately a major trend in this business, he tries to stock his store with a wide range of costumes -- from a traditional Freddy Krueger costume to a racy prep school delinquent getup.
Fashion guru and designer, Ashley Pasquan, 21, of Tempe, said Halloween is a time to dress as your alter ego and to have a little fun with the holiday.
“For some it's a superhero, others a monster, and unfortunately for the vast majority of girls this happens to be a sexy maid, firefighter or inmate,” said Pasquan, who writes a fashion blog, and designs and makes clothes that she sells through Facebook.
Jill Horohoe, a women’s history professor at ASU, said dressing provocatively on Halloween is more about gender and society than anything else.
"Women dress in these types of costumes in keeping with the oversexed streotypes they are expected to fulfill in order to [appear] feminine and beautiful," said Horohoe. And younger women “are more apt to wear provocative costumes to gain acceptance and attention."
So the advice from fashion guru Pasquan? Ditch the traditional sexy costumes and stand out by sporting something a little more humorous.
“There are plenty of other days in the year to dress a little risqué,” said Pasquan.
Short is the new SEXY
Be it the bob of the 1920s, the twiggy crop of the ’60s or the pixie cut of ’70s, Bollywood actresses are preferring to keep it short and sweet.
Setting the benchmark for short hair is Canadian actress and model, Lisa Ray, who was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer— multiple myeloma—last year. Ray, born in Canada to an Indian father and a Polish mother, underwent a stem-cell transplant in January 2010 to treat the multiple myeloma. She was recently spotted at the opening of her film, Cooking With Stella, at the Indian Film Festival 2010, showing off her close crop. Adressing the press gathered at the opening, she had said,“I am loving my new hairstyle. My hair is coming back and it’s looking awesome right now. It is the sleekest and most well-put together look that I have ever sported.”
This was not Lisa's first brush with a shaven pate. Earlier in the 2007 Oscar-nominated movie Water, she donned a similar look. However, suffering hair loss while undergoing the cancer treatment could have been traumatising for most women, but for Lisa it was a different experience. "What was traumatic about losing my hair this time was that I didn't have a choice. But I have enjoyed being bald," she reportedly admitted. Her recent post on her blog adds to her state of mind. “Woke up. Got out of bed. (Did not) drag a comb across my head,” read the post.
Setting the benchmark for short hair is Canadian actress and model, Lisa Ray, who was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer— multiple myeloma—last year. Ray, born in Canada to an Indian father and a Polish mother, underwent a stem-cell transplant in January 2010 to treat the multiple myeloma. She was recently spotted at the opening of her film, Cooking With Stella, at the Indian Film Festival 2010, showing off her close crop. Adressing the press gathered at the opening, she had said,“I am loving my new hairstyle. My hair is coming back and it’s looking awesome right now. It is the sleekest and most well-put together look that I have ever sported.”
This was not Lisa's first brush with a shaven pate. Earlier in the 2007 Oscar-nominated movie Water, she donned a similar look. However, suffering hair loss while undergoing the cancer treatment could have been traumatising for most women, but for Lisa it was a different experience. "What was traumatic about losing my hair this time was that I didn't have a choice. But I have enjoyed being bald," she reportedly admitted. Her recent post on her blog adds to her state of mind. “Woke up. Got out of bed. (Did not) drag a comb across my head,” read the post.
"Glee" is Bringing Sexy Back And Paying The Price For It.
Fox's "Glee" is one of the biggest shows on television today. How can a musical comedy about a high school glee club average around 13 million viewers a week? The success of the show is a testament to its ability to combine top-selling tracks, quote-worthy one-liners, and a cast that is filled with triple threats across the board. Recently, however, some of the stars from the young cast have been garnering attention for more than just their vocal talent.
The November issue of the magazine ‘GQ’ puts three of the show’s actors -- Lea Michele, Dianna Agron, Cory Monteith -- back in school through a racy editorial, aptly titled, ‘Glee Gone Wild.’ Famed photographer of the stars Terry Richardson, known for his often controversial and revealing shoots, pushed the envelope with the photos from this spread.
Michele, whose poses have been deemed to be the most over-the-top, may be the over-achieving Rachel Berry on the show, but is seen perched up against a locker provocatively licking a lollipop and in scantily clad lingerie with her legs spread wide apart in the shoot. Similarly, Agron who plays the perfectionist cheerleader, Quinn Fabray, is also taking the heat for donning sexy schoolgirl outfits. It seems like Monteith, who plays the football-turned-singing star Finn Hudson, is the only one not affected by this scandal as he remains fully clothed in the photos.
Prior to the magazine's release, the pictures went viral. And surprise, surprise, many family-oriented organizations, such as the Parent Television Council, were among the first to criticize the spread calling it “near pornographic” and even going so far as “pedophilic.”
Although comments surrounding the photos might seem rash, this type of reaction is all too familiar. Every so often a celebrity who rises to fame with a wholesome persona will take part in racy photo shoot and, every time, there will be a media backlash.
Remember Britney Spears on the 1999 cover of 'Rolling Stone' magazine? Fresh off the success of her hit record "Baby, One More Time," Spears appeared spread out across a bed with her shirt unbuttoned and holding a tellytubby doll. Only a couple of years ago, Miley Cyrus incited a similar debate when she posed with her back exposed for an Annie Lebowitz photo in a 2008 issue of "Vanity Fair" Magazine.
In both cases, the media and the public went into a frenzy.
Call it a poor sense of judgment or a brilliant public relations move: controversial photo shoots never end up hurting a celebrity's image more that it can help it. Despite this scandal, millions tuned in to watch the “Rocky Horror Glee Show,” their Halloween themed episode, Tuesday night and the accompanying soundtrack is already the #2 album on iTunes -- right behind Taylor Swift.
While these photos are certainly not geared towards the younger set, those who watch “Glee” on a regular basis will have to remember that the show is not as wholesome as the name might suggest it to be. The writers of the show hardly shy away from controversial issues such as religion, drugs, homosexuality and sex.
Although these young stars might today be going through a cycle of criticism that many before them have faced, it is only a matter of time before these photos become yesterday’s news while they continue to top the television and music charts. And once the ladies of the “The View” discuss this on their "Hot Topics" segment, it'll definitely be time to move on.
The November issue of the magazine ‘GQ’ puts three of the show’s actors -- Lea Michele, Dianna Agron, Cory Monteith -- back in school through a racy editorial, aptly titled, ‘Glee Gone Wild.’ Famed photographer of the stars Terry Richardson, known for his often controversial and revealing shoots, pushed the envelope with the photos from this spread.
Michele, whose poses have been deemed to be the most over-the-top, may be the over-achieving Rachel Berry on the show, but is seen perched up against a locker provocatively licking a lollipop and in scantily clad lingerie with her legs spread wide apart in the shoot. Similarly, Agron who plays the perfectionist cheerleader, Quinn Fabray, is also taking the heat for donning sexy schoolgirl outfits. It seems like Monteith, who plays the football-turned-singing star Finn Hudson, is the only one not affected by this scandal as he remains fully clothed in the photos.
Prior to the magazine's release, the pictures went viral. And surprise, surprise, many family-oriented organizations, such as the Parent Television Council, were among the first to criticize the spread calling it “near pornographic” and even going so far as “pedophilic.”
Although comments surrounding the photos might seem rash, this type of reaction is all too familiar. Every so often a celebrity who rises to fame with a wholesome persona will take part in racy photo shoot and, every time, there will be a media backlash.
Remember Britney Spears on the 1999 cover of 'Rolling Stone' magazine? Fresh off the success of her hit record "Baby, One More Time," Spears appeared spread out across a bed with her shirt unbuttoned and holding a tellytubby doll. Only a couple of years ago, Miley Cyrus incited a similar debate when she posed with her back exposed for an Annie Lebowitz photo in a 2008 issue of "Vanity Fair" Magazine.
In both cases, the media and the public went into a frenzy.
Call it a poor sense of judgment or a brilliant public relations move: controversial photo shoots never end up hurting a celebrity's image more that it can help it. Despite this scandal, millions tuned in to watch the “Rocky Horror Glee Show,” their Halloween themed episode, Tuesday night and the accompanying soundtrack is already the #2 album on iTunes -- right behind Taylor Swift.
While these photos are certainly not geared towards the younger set, those who watch “Glee” on a regular basis will have to remember that the show is not as wholesome as the name might suggest it to be. The writers of the show hardly shy away from controversial issues such as religion, drugs, homosexuality and sex.
Although these young stars might today be going through a cycle of criticism that many before them have faced, it is only a matter of time before these photos become yesterday’s news while they continue to top the television and music charts. And once the ladies of the “The View” discuss this on their "Hot Topics" segment, it'll definitely be time to move on.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Short, Skimpy, Sexy
It is the short skimpy choli look that has been dominating the traditional wardrobe of our desi sexy actresses for quite some time now. From Sonam Kapoor in the film Aisha, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan in her recent release Robot and Priyanka Chopra in the movie Anjaana Anjaani to Katrina Kaif, Malaika Arora Khan and Bipasha Basu during their recent public appearances, everyone seem to be on a midriff flaunting spree. The look has been adding more oomph to the ladies in the ethnic saris and lehengas.
If you have it, flaunt it
While designers think that it is actor Priyanka Chopra who looks the most delectable in that short choli, they say she has the body to flaunt it well. Designer Manish Malhotra says, “I have always been innovative with the cholis for saris and lehengas by playing between Indian and western styles. With cholis, it is most important to have the right cut and ensure that it fits you perfectly.” This fashionable skimpy choli can as easily turn into a fashion faux pas if not worn well.
Designer Abdul Halder says, “The cholis are really tiny so you must have a perfect waist and fit stomach to look good in them. If you are not that fit yet keen on wearing a short choli, there are modifications such as using a sheer cloth attached to the choli to cover the tummy or keep the length normal and experiment with the neck or back that can be made more revealing.”
A confident act
The confidence to carry off the skimpy piece of cloth is of maximum important. Then comes the way you drape the dupatta. Malhotra adds, “A net or a chiffon dupatta over the lehenga in a sari style will give an illusion of the skin and also more confidence to carry it off.” If it is a sari in a thick fabric, pin the palla into neat pleats.
But how short is too short? Halder says, “13.5 inches is the shortest to go. You have to be sure that it is not way too short. It must be enough to cover your assets well. Wear it in seedha palla to make the most of the sensuous choli.”
If you have it, flaunt it
While designers think that it is actor Priyanka Chopra who looks the most delectable in that short choli, they say she has the body to flaunt it well. Designer Manish Malhotra says, “I have always been innovative with the cholis for saris and lehengas by playing between Indian and western styles. With cholis, it is most important to have the right cut and ensure that it fits you perfectly.” This fashionable skimpy choli can as easily turn into a fashion faux pas if not worn well.
Designer Abdul Halder says, “The cholis are really tiny so you must have a perfect waist and fit stomach to look good in them. If you are not that fit yet keen on wearing a short choli, there are modifications such as using a sheer cloth attached to the choli to cover the tummy or keep the length normal and experiment with the neck or back that can be made more revealing.”
A confident act
The confidence to carry off the skimpy piece of cloth is of maximum important. Then comes the way you drape the dupatta. Malhotra adds, “A net or a chiffon dupatta over the lehenga in a sari style will give an illusion of the skin and also more confidence to carry it off.” If it is a sari in a thick fabric, pin the palla into neat pleats.
But how short is too short? Halder says, “13.5 inches is the shortest to go. You have to be sure that it is not way too short. It must be enough to cover your assets well. Wear it in seedha palla to make the most of the sensuous choli.”
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